A few weeks ago, I had surgery to correct my vision. For the last few weeks since, I have been forced into a very uncharacteristic period of rest.
As you can imagine, my eyes were sensitive and tired for a few days following the procedure; even the dimmest kitchen light still stung and my eyes strained to bring the blurry world into focus. My vision improved quickly, but daily headaches halted my plans to read, use my computer, watch TV and even work out as my new eyes tried to heal themselves. The rest my eyes required left me restless for days, with nothing but the colorful visions of my own imagination to paint the world around me.
In the darkness and stillness of my recovery, I learned a little more about seeing. This verse from 1 Corinthians came crystal-clear into my mind, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known” (13:12).
As I peeked through tired eyes at my fuzzy surroundings, the thought of seeing dimly spoke to me.
My eye surgery was but a parable for my life right now. Graduation and job hunting has left me in a season of uncertainty, my vision of the future hazy and unclear. I cannot see the future God is forming beyond my line of vision.
Really, we’re all a little blind. Our eyes can only perceive the tangible, the obvious. And even then, the eyes are often deceiving. Yet we know there is so much more, a complex universe that exists below the surface of all we see. Our vantage points are highly subjective, and entirely oblivious to some of the most amazing things happening at this very moment.
Because we are not God. We cannot understand everything, cannot see the threads that bind us all together in one elaborate, beautiful mess. Even our own lives, the ones we think that we know best, are only being viewed through a mirror dimly.
This could be disheartening, but Paul doesn’t stop there. He adds that we will someday know all. We will understand the reasons behind some of our most difficult trials, know the answers to every challenging question we ponder.
As our God works behind the scenes, we enjoy the roles that we play without ever fully seeing the whole picture. Our actions could have repercussions so far-reaching we will never see where the ripples land. And that could be an incredibly scary thought, or it could be a humbling one. We cannot fathom the importance of our own lives until we release the idea that it is our own life at all, but by losing sight of self, we gain a greater view of the entire production.
My life right now is more unknown than usual. I do not know where I will be in a month or two or three. I am in the darkness, but there I cling to God’s low, steady voice leading me into the light. I cannot yet see what God is doing with me in this season– the seeds He is planting or the harvest He’s reaping. Though if I squint, I think I can make out the shadows of lessons in patience, in trust, in rest.
For now, that is enough. Until my vision is perfected, I will view the world through lenses of faith.
Even when my eyes can’t see
I will trust the voice that speaks…
from “Peace Be Still,” Lauren Daigle (listen here) or check out her album on Amazon below!